For dVerse OpenLinkNight. Short and sweet. Share your poem, long or short, polished or still in progress.
Alterity
That vast space between
I
you.
Under
a gibbous moon,
philosophy failed,
and there I laid you
down, I laid you down.
My Tiny Throes 
MMM,mmmmm. Sweetly succinct.
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Philosophy failed…but something else worked.. one outta two ain't bad!
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excellent short verse…nice musicality to it as well…the repetition in the end is great…the distance, nice the way you show it as well…but then again, you got what you got…smiles.
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Short and sweet I like very much ~ I like the format of the words, and repetitive echo of the two ~
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Sometimes SHORT works. In this case, it does.
Sometimes the space between people just is.
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Why does this make me think of the Waters of Babylon? 🙂
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It may be short, but it really packs a punch (that's what I like about shorter poems).
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Evocative, concise write…that's talent!
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Short and sweet, lovely.
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Very nice… The form really adds to the words. I love the title!
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Nico, the form works well with the message and the title is superb.
Pamela
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I know the words could conjure many a meaning, but I felt like at a funeral, or at least the vision of onem representing something else. But the feeling is strong, and point well made. No more words needed at a time like this. Excellente
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bridging the distance…nice set up of the scene…like a little clip and yet such deep emotions in it..
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Short, Sweet, Delish…
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Very nice how you brought down the distance… I like it a lot
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Thanks L.!
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Thanks Timoteo–yes, and the one that worked is my preference anyway.
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Thanks Brian, there are ways to overcome the distances.
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Thanks Grace, the repetition just seemed right.
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Thanks Mary, I've been drawn to shorter pieces recently, fascinated by how little needs to be said to say what you wish.
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Thanks R.–well, that's a different laying down entirely!
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Thanks Laurie, it's enjoyable to pare down a poem to the essentials. This actually started out a much longer piece, but I cut words out and left the space between.
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Thanks Victoria, you know I like story-like poems, but I enjoy this as well.
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Thanks Ayala, I'm glad you liked it.
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Thanks Kelly Jo, I don't usually mess around with lines like this, I'm glad it worked out.
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Thanks Pamela, I'm pleased you like it.
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Thanks Henry–that's part of the fun, especially with short poems. Plenty of space for interpretation. I like the way you read this. The lines “Under / a gibbous moon” were originally “Yet under / a gibbous moon”–the “yet” would probably remove the ambiguity, but the more I think of it as I'm writing this comment the more I like the ambiguity. Thanks!
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Thanks Claudia, just a little snapshot.
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Thanks Linda, I'm happy you liked it!
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Thanks Bjorn, distances are made to be overcome.
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Perfectly concise…and what a way to bridge the gap. Loved this!
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Thanks Rowan–philosophy is of limited value!
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..so close but yet so far… ah, the vastness is hard to define… yet silence is even more bigger here… excellent! smiles…
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I do find it amazing how so much can be said, felt, and awakened in such few words. lovely. (it's been awhile since I toyed with geometric sequences and series…I can only begin to imagine what fun that homework help must have been.)
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Thanks Kelvin!
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Thanks RMP–for whatever reason, I'm in a short-poem phase right now. I like it. Oh Lord, the math. No offense, but give me words any day!
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This is strangely lovely…and I'm not sure why!
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Thanks Cress–that's pretty much the reaction I was aiming for!
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