A Proposal for a Better World

The world stands in need of a lot of things. I wish I could solve all of our problems, ease all of the suffering, make peace in our violent times. But, being only one man, I have to pick and choose my causes–I can’t do everything! Here’s what I’d like to do to make the world a better place:

Invent a spellchecker for those illuminated movable letter signs one sees in front of businesses and churches. Really, is there some kind of small business code book that requires the least qualified employee to be in charge of arranging the letters? Everyone has a bad spelling day every so often, but come on. I passed two signs the other day–didn’t have my camera or the time to stop anyway, but here’s what they said.
The first was an auto shop sign. WE BEAT OUR COMPEDITORS PRICES. The second, believe it or not, was on a sign for a sign company! It read, CREATE A ALL TIME SIGNATURE LOOK. I know, this is more of a grammar mistake than a spelling mistake, but the principle still applies.
Wait, someone already created a sign spellchecker?  Yes, it’s called a dictionary, kids. Many of them also include basic grammar and usage rules. Purchase one, and use it wisely. I know it’s not very high tech (what the . . . no buttons!), and you may have to learn to use the thumb tabs. Struggle on, the fate of the universe depends on you.

[Edit: I just noticed I misspelled the title of the previous post. Fixed it now. Go figure.]

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